


talk to me, come to me, hurry up

by livelyvague



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Gay Panic, M/M, Making Out, Online Dating, Texting, oh and AU I gave Patrick curls bc why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 22:06:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19876822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livelyvague/pseuds/livelyvague
Summary: Patrick decides to use Grindr when he first gets to Schitt's Creek, ready for an opportunity to embrace his new life.





	talk to me, come to me, hurry up

**Author's Note:**

> title from "hurry up!" by superfruit
> 
> like lightly edited/sorry for any mistakes etc. hope you enjoy patrick being a baby gay!

This was monumentally stupid, perhaps. Except that Patrick was getting tired of the newly found _being gay_ thing without all of the fun parts. Yes, it was stupid, but so were the past thirty years of his life spent being with women and not enjoying what was supposed to be one of life’s greatest treasures.

So, here he was on a Friday night, drinking a beer, laying in his bed at Ray’s and clicking open the Grindr app.

He had made the account when he first moved to Ray’s, but he had been too nervous to use it. Patrick came to Schitt’s Creek to get away from his past self and past life, allowing himself to indulge in something new. He knew he was gay, he just didn’t know how to _be_ gay yet. Half of him told himself that that was ridiculous; to be gay all you needed to do was be gay. Yet, the other half was anxiously waiting to just be with a guy, to prove it to himself and to finally feel something good. 

His phone chirped and he looked down at some of the messages from the past few days.

**[From: Cumslutdaddy, 42]**

**Your sexy. Wanna come over?**

**[From: Jared, 27]**

**You a bottom?**

**[From: Lets Fuck?, 32]**

**What do i need to do to cum down yr throat**

**[From: Married but i’m down, 53]**

**Youre sexy**

**Can i eat your pretty pink hole**

**[From: Matt, 24]**

**Sup**

Patrick’s stomach felt sick. It was all too much and _impersonal_. He knew Grindr wasn’t gonna be the place where he met the love of his life but he thought it’d be just a little better than this. He realized then that he really wasn’t cut out for this. 

He decided to scroll a little more–not like there were a ton of profiles to even look at–but he kept scrolling. Patrick’s eye caught a profile he’d never seen online before. The man had a normal display name, no expletives or words that made Patrick’s nose curl up. Simple and just his name. David. The bio said he was 33, 5’11 and looking for ‘right now.’ Patrick’s stomach twinged a little bit but the man _was_ hot–dark hair, wore interesting clothes (anything that wasn’t flannel, jeans and cowboy boots were interesting to him) and well, had a nice body–and seemed fairly normal.

David’s bio was simple as well, stating only: _down for pretty much whatever, but not into feet stuff. not looking for anything serious._ Patrick’s own bio tried to stay simple, not wanting it to be too wordy and seem like he was desperate–which he was. It read: _Hi, new here and thought I’d try it out._ His profile said he was looking for friends, dates, relationships, _and_ right now.

And well, Patrick _wasn’t_ into feet stuff so he felt a little bit more right looking at David’s profile than anyone else's he had seen. Patrick wasn’t even sure what he _was_ into. Might as well try to figure it out now. 

Before he thought about if it was a good idea, he typed in a message and pressed send.

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Hey there_

Patrick sat up in bed and rubbed at the calluses on his hands, chugged the rest of his beer quickly before placing it in the trashcan by his bedside table. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, if anything he could just delete the app and forget about all of it. But he didn’t delete the app, and almost threw his phone across the room trying to unlock it once he heard the chirp again.

**[From David]**

**hi**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_How's your night?_

Patrick groaned and rubbed face. He was talking to a stunning man and somehow couldn’t string together any meaningful sentence. Still, David _had_ only sent him a ‘hi’ so he guessed it was better to act chill.

**[From David]**

**riveting. watched a shitty lifetime movie with my mother and now i’m alone in bed on grindr sooo**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Well, that does sound riveting. What was the movie about?_

**[From David]**

**i literally dont think i could tell you even if i tried to remember**

**there were straight people? and bad acting**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Straight people and bad acting sounds like my high school experience_

**[From David]**

**lol**

**your bio says you’re new to grindr**

**i can tell**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Hm can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing_

**[From David]**

**is neither an option**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Nope_

_Definitely need an answer_

**[From David]**

**demanding things from me**

**maybe you’re not as new as i thought**

Patrick was smiling down at his phone and blushing like a teenage girl because of a _Grindr_ _conversation_ , but he couldn’t even begin to remember why he thought this was a bad idea when he looked at David’s picture again. 

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_You’re different_

_Than other grindr guys_

_Even if you’re not new_

**[From David]**

**lmao oh really?**

**how**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Well_

_I think you’re one of the first people I have talked to that hasn’t mentioned choking on different parts of my body after the first few messages_

**[From David]**

**i mean i could send u those things too**

**except i don’t choke**

Now Patrick was the one about to choke. He bit his lip and imagined the way that his cock would look around David’s pretty lips. He took a big breath and went to type back a response, desperately trying not to send “please come suck my cock right now, David.” 

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Could be interested in that_

_Perhaps_

**[From David]**

**perhaps?**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Yeah_

_We could hang out_

**[From David]**

**yeah i’m down**

**where are you at? says you’re close as fuck**

Patrick’s heart was racing and dick twitching at the thought of being alone with him. 

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_I mean, isn’t everything close when you’re in Schitt’s Creek?_

**[From David]**

**yeah normally i think it’s a curse**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Normally?_

_What about now_

**[From David]**

**could be a blessing**

**i mean normally i would have to go all the way to elmdale**

**but you’re right here 2.7 miles away from me**

Patrick’s face felt warm. He wanted David _badly_ and he couldn’t believe it seemed like David wanted him too. 

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_That’s very close_

**[From David]**

**wanna send address?**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Oh. Can’t be here. Have a roommate_

**[From David]**

**fuck**

**sorry patrick. not here either. i live in a motel and share a room with my sister. not the sexiest**

Patrick’s disappointment was clouded by realization. How he had not realized that the man he was talking to was the infamous Rose, he wasn’t sure, but now he understood why David was so beautifully different than the rest of the men on the app. 

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_OH_

_You’re a Rose_

_You’re David Rose_

**[From David]**

**yep**

**i could also tell you were new by the fact that that wasn’t your original pick up line**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Haha oh man is that really what people think is gonna get them laid?_

**[From David]**

**I KNOW**

**this town is surprisingly full of a lot of (gay) idiots**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Hmm. Schitt’s Creek: Home to the former millionaires ‘The Roses’ and tons of gay idiots!_

**[From David]**

**oh my fucking god**

**i mean that’s better than the sign of the dude fucking his sister from behind**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_THATS HIS SISTER?_

**[From David]**

**yeah it’s literally so incorrect so i pretend like it doesn’t exist**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Well if it makes you feel better, by the way, I think you’re probably single handedly the coolest and most interesting person in this town_

**[From David]**

**hmm weirdly does make me feel better about my sad straight people movie night**

**although there isn’t much competition for interesting people here**

**except maybe you**

Oh no, Patrick _liked_ this guy. Fuck the motel. Fuck Ray. Fuck it all. He wanted to be with him right now.

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_It’s late_

**[From David]**

**oh yeah sorry. you need to sleep?**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_No._

_You could come over? It’s late so my roommate is asleep_

_I mean if that wouldn’t weird you out_

_If you don’t want to it’s fine!_

He was practically shaking with nerves and anticipation. He just asked a guy to come over. A guy! A devastatingly _sexy_ guy with nice hair that was really funny and said he didn’t choke. 

**[From David]**

**no that’s fine**

**i’m down**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Um yeah yes_

_Yeah that’s good_

_It’s 227 West Birch_

**[From David]**

**is ray butani your roommate**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Yeah…_

_I work for him. Just moved here and rented a room from his as well_

_Him*_

**[From David]**

**haha oh god okay**

**gonna get ready**

**um i don’t really have a car right now so i’ll have to walk**

**but i can be there soon**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Oh David it’s late I can pick you up_

**[From David]**

**no!! thats okay**

**you can take me home afterwards, deal?**

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Deal._

Patrick was fucking _sweating_. He immediately got up from his bed and paced around the room. He took the dirty clothes he had and shoved them into his drawers, deciding he would worry about them tomorrow. 

“What do I wear on my first gay date?” He laughed to himself under his breath, looking down at his sweatpants and blue t-shirt. He stripped off the sweatpants and put them away, deciding on his nicest pair of navy blue briefs, dark wash jeans and some simple grey socks. He stayed in the t-shirt, hoping it made his chest look good and that he still looked calm and casual. Two things of which he was absolutely _not_.

Patrick went into the bathroom and tried to freshen up. He had just showered but all of the nerves had caused him to sweat, so he took a dampened washcloth under his armpits and then put on his nicest cologne. The cologne that Rachel’s mom had gotten him as a birthday gift. He winced as he put it back on his shelf, then just stared at himself in the mirror.

His hair had curled up a bit since he’d been in Schitt’s Creek, not even bothering to find a new barber. He ran a shaking hand through it and sighed.

“You’ve got this, Brewer,” he said to his reflection. Patrick made a stance in the mirror as if he was holding a baseball bat and moved his arms at the imaginary ball coming toward him. “And the crowd goes wild!” Patrick wooed silently to himself and raised his hands in celebration. 

He went pee, washed his hands, brushed and flossed his teeth–just for good measure–then went downstairs to get some water and wait for David.

Patrick sat on the couch, glancing down at his phone every few seconds but tried to remain calm. His fingers were itching with the need to play guitar, but it was almost 1am and he _really_ needed Ray to stay asleep so he wasn’t present when David got here. 

It had been 21 minutes since their last messages and Patrick was getting worried that David had decided he didn’t wanna meet up with him. Right before he got up to deem it a failure and call it a night, his phone chirped.

**[From David]**

**hey i’ll be there in like 1 minute**

His heart had _just_ calmed down but was picking up again at the sight of the message. His whole body was thrumming with nerves and excitement. 

_[Sent by Patrick]_

_Ok um just message me so you don’t have to knock_

**[From David]**

**wouldn’t want to disturb the man the myth the legend RAY would we?**

Before Patrick could even reply back, David messaged him again.

**[From David]**

**im here**

Patrick felt frozen in place, but when he remembered how he felt only texting David, he got the courage to stand up and walk to the door. Softly, he twisted the handle and allowed it to open. There he was. _David_. And he looked even better in person. He was wearing a black heavy sweater with a lighting bolt on it and some black drawstring pants, complete with a clearly very expensive pair of hightops. 

Patrick gestured for him to come into the house and he followed suit. Patrick turned around and just smiled for a second before his brain remembered how to function again.

“I’m Patrick,” he stuck his hand out for a handshake and laughed at himself.

“David,” he said and even took Patrick’s hand to shake it. His hand was warm, and firm. Patrick noticed the silver rings that were on his fingers, which were beautiful, just like his hands. 

“Um,” Patrick hesitated. “We can go to my room. Do you need anything. Like. Water? Food?”

“No, no. I’m good. We can go upstairs.”

“Okay,” Patrick said but stayed right in place.

“Okay,” David repeated. “Do _you_ need something down here?”

“No. Um, no. We can go up now.”

Patrick got his body working again and led them both up the stairs. David stayed slightly behind him but felt his hand brush against his. Once reaching his bedroom at the end of the hall, Patrick opened the door and then immediately shut it as they both made it in quietly. David laughed and had a curious smile on his face, like he was about to tease but there was still a softness to it. It was a mesmerizing smile.

“Hm! Okay. Gotta be honest, wasn’t expecting so much floral from you,” he said with a smirk as he perused Patrick’s room. He touched the wallpaper with a single finger and traced the flowers and their stems. 

“Wasn’t my first choice, but the pink care bear wallpaper was all taken.” Patrick sucked in a breath and laughed. David just smiled back and continued looking around the room, fiddling with the stuff on top of his dresser.

“Hm, bet you get all the hunks with these...cat? Statues. Statue is plural because there are two cats here, Patrick.” 

“They’re Ray’s but, y’know, but the bird on that plant holder over there gets lonely, so I had to keep them,” Patrick teased. He was still by the door, just watching David and not knowing what to do with his fuckinghands, as they were still currently stuffed in his front jean pockets. 

“How thoughtful of you.” David was walking towards him now, disregarding any other ugly decor that Ray had scattered around. “You always wear jeans in your own home at 1am?”

“Not really my own home,” Patrick pointed out. David trailed his fingers up Patrick’s thigh to his pockets, got his hands out and intertwined their fingers together. 

“Well, this is your room,” David said pulling on Patrick’s hand. “This is your bed.” He sat down at the front and Patrick joined him. Their thighs touched briefly, but there was no more contact after that. Patrick wanted David’s hands on him again. He looked at David’s lips, then David’s lips were curling up into another smirk and then those lips were coming towards Patrick.

“Actually, not even my bed either,” he said before David could kiss him. David had pulled back all the way and just nodded. “Ray’s mattress.” 

“New to _just_ Grindr?” He questioned. Patrick’s stomach fell and he wanted to hide. He felt horrible for telling David to come here, like he was leading him on.

“Um,” Patrick said and let out a heavy breath. “Never really done this before. With a guy, so.” His heart was racing again but David felt so good next to him that he just kept talking so he wouldn’t have to hear whatever David was thinking about him. 

“I’m so sorry, if I like. Led you on. I’m...not ready for...sex right now, if that’s okay. You can leave. Well, I can still take you home. That was our deal.” It came out fast and jumbled and he definitely wasn’t looking directly in David’s eyes but a firm hand was back on his thigh and a finger was on his chin moving his head towards David. 

“It’s okay. I knew–I mean, I kind of had a feeling.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Patrick’s brain almost short circuited but he had enough in him to nod vigorously. He took one last look down at David’s lips before a silver ringed hand was on his neck, slightly wrapping a finger into a loose curl and finally their lips were meeting. Patrick softly gasped into his mouth and clenched his hand around the material of David’s sweater, kissing him back. His head was spinning and his heart was thumping wildly, and he had never felt more fucking alive in his life. Years of discomfort and dissatisfaction melting away as David’s lips stayed pressed against his. 

David pulled back and looked down, smiling. Patrick sat silently, trying to wrap his head around it all.

“Thank you,” he said earnestly. Definitely too earnest for a late night Grindr date, but the damage had already been done. 

“For what?”

“For not having a gross username, or messaging me saying that I look like I can take cock.” Patrick eyes got wide at the realization he had just said cock and said _that_ in front of David, who was now looking like he was about to burst at the seams with the smile he was containing. “Um, but that you were a good person about all of this.”

“Well, I’m very generous.”

“Are you?”

“Mmh,” he nodded. “I haven’t even made fun of you for how god awful that red chair in the corner is.”

“You’re _almost_ as good as Mother Teresa,” Patrick teased. But he wasn’t thinking about the red chair or Mother Teresa. He was thinking about getting his lips back on David’s. 

They met for another kiss, David’s hand immediately finding its way back into Patrick’s hair and the other on his thigh. David’s tongue teased at Patrick’s lip and he opened his mouth for him, letting out a soft moan when their tongues met.

David tasted like mint, but it wasn’t too overpowering and Patrick wanted more of it. He teased a hand under David’s sweater and swooned at the feeling of the soft skin and coarse hair on his abdomen. 

David pulled softly at Patrick’s hair and stopped kissing him. Instead, he sucked at Patrick’s neck and laid wet kisses all the way down to the part of his collarbone that was visible in his t-shirt. He started biting and sucking at one spot and Patrick had his head thrown back, hand still grasping at David’s stomach under his sweater.

“Wanna take this off?” Patrick managed to get out while tugging at the bulky sweater.

“Yeah. Is that okay with you?” David clearly didn’t want to rush him but god, Patrick wanted to be rushed right now. 

He nodded and helped get the sweater up and off. David scooted up the bed to drape it over the nightstand as neatly as he could. Patrick joined him at the top of his bed, now sitting in David’s lap and grabbed him by both sides of the face, messily bringing them back into a frenzied kiss. 

David’s hands reached up to claw at Patrick’s back, daring to hike up the blue cotton t-shirt. Patrick gasped into his mouth when his bare flesh was being touched and involuntary ground his crotch against David’s thigh. 

“Fuck,” he moaned into David’s mouth, grinding down again experimentally. 

He was getting increasingly hard and he really didn’t want to have an embarrassing teenage boy come-in-your-pants situation so he pulled back and sat beside David as he tried to catch his breath. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” David reassured him. His hand traced lines against Patrick’s denim clad thigh. 

“Is it okay if we stop?”

“Yeah, of course.”

They sat there for a few seconds in the silence and Patrick was worried David was thinking of a million different excuses to get out of his room as fast as possible. 

“How do you know Ray?” Patrick suddenly thought, turning to look at David.

“I’m um, about to try and start to open up a business actually.” There was that smile again, like he was fighting happiness for some reason. Patrick vowed to himself that he would get David to show his full smile to him, someday. He somehow knew that there would be a someday. 

“No way! Are you the appointment I have for tomorrow? About the business license?”

“Oh my god. Yes, yeah, I have an appointment at Ray’s–um here, I guess–tomorrow.”

“Small world,” Patrick said with a soft smile.

“Small town,” David laughed. Patrick looked around for his phone but realized it was still downstairs. 

“You have your phone?”

“Yeah,” he said, angling his hips upwards to retrieve it from his back pocket.

“What time is it?”

“1:15,” David said almost sadly.

“Let me drive you back to the motel, we both have to be ready for a pretty important meeting tomorrow morning.”

They both smiled at each other before getting up and retrieving all of their stuff. Careful to leave the room quietly, they tiptoed down the stairs and giggled like they were kids about to get caught sneaking out of their house. 

Patrick played the only pop station that was clear enough in range of Schitt’s Creek because he thought David would like to listen to it. And he apparently did, humming softly under his breath as the wind ripped around them from the open windows of Patrick’s car.

When Patrick pulled up to the motel room and placed the car in park, the butterflies in his stomach were back again. He couldn’t believe all this happened because of an app he was sure was going to scare him away from ever wanting to find someone in this town, or from any man at all. Instead, it had brought David to him a day closer, and he was glad for it.

He was even more delighted to know that David would have found him no matter what. Even if he hadn’t downloaded Grindr, he would have met him tomorrow at their meeting. And maybe if Patrick wouldn’t have helped him with the business license, they could have met at the cafe. Maybe everywhere and anywhere they could have met. Patrick liked that thought.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Patrick said after pulling away from another one of David’s dizzying kisses.

“Thankfully after 9am, ‘cause I’m not really a morning person so…” he trailed off as he got out of the car.

“Goodnight, David.”

“Goodnight, Patrick.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! you can find me on tumblr at @[patrickanddavid](https://patrickanddavid.tumblr.com/)


End file.
